How often should couples have sex?
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- 5 April 2021
How often should a couple have sex or how many times a week it’s a question that’s on everyone’s mind? There is no fixed amount of times and no rule written about it. It is something that depends on every couple in particular.
There is no such thing as too much or too little when it comes to this topic. Therapists have debated this topic as well and have made it clear that the sex drive varies from a couple to another.
More sex doesn’t necessarily mean a better relationship. Instead, experts say that focusing on the quality of sex and your connection with your partner can make your relationship stronger.
How often do “normal” couples have sex
Many factors influence this. Things such as age, sex drive, stressful life, all can impact your sex life. It is a very subjective matter. There is no such thing as too much sex or too little sex. It depends on each couple and their connection. Although some couples can live without having sex for months, experts say that sex also has health benefits, especially connected to hormones. That’s why there should always be a balance.
Therapists say that “once a week” is the average amount of time couples say they have sex. But every relationship is different. That’s why it’s not the right amount for all relationships. If you have just started dating someone and your relationship is still new and full of excitement, your sex drive can be higher than the average. Although you may have sex frequently when you are younger, this could change with age and in time.
Talking about married couples, it is said that they have sex around 51 times a year. The frequency changes depending on age. Younger couples, with ages between 20-30 years old, have sex around 80 times a year, whereas couples aged 60 or above drop to 20 times a year. Sex usually refers to many acts and every person can choose what enjoys the most.
Factors that affect your sex life
It’s no shame to be unsatisfied with the amount of sex you are having as a couple. It is very important to find the right amount of times you should have sex. It will help you connect better and have a stronger relationship. But good sex is not just about physical attraction. It is also about mental and emotional connections. That’s why even the slightest imbalance in one of these can impact your sex life.
All these factors can affect only you or both you and your partner.
· Stress- probably the worst enemy when it comes to your sex drive. Everyday stress can impact your sexual desires and decrease your excitement.
· Age and health issues- these are things that can’t be predicted or avoided. Aging is normal and adapting your sex life based on it is perfectly normal. Also, health issues shouldn’t be perceived as an obstacle. Find a way to adapt to it and get your excitement back.
· Don’t fall into a routine- that’s probably the worst enemy. Sex should be about desire, excitement, pleasure. All these are lost when you create a routine that will get boring and doesn’t bring anything new.
· Make time for yourself- as a married couple, it’s going to be hard to make time for career, family, kids, and also for your couple’s life. Never ignore the importance of your time alone with your partner. You could go for a short holiday or even a night out, just your two, where you can find your excitement gain. Or even try new things and rediscover your sexual attraction.
· Communicate- feel comfortable to communicate with each other about what you like and what you want to try new in your sex life. It’s important to listen and talk to each other to make it all as enjoyable as possible.
How to improve your sex life
For good sex, many things need to fall in place. It’s about desire, foreplay, good mood. They all play a part in this. Make time every day for intimacy and disconnect from any distractions while you do it. Sex should be enjoyed and therefore you should always find ways to improve it for intense pleasure.
First of all, try and reduce any stress you may face at the moment. You should always be relaxed before and during sex. On the other hand, some people use sex to release stress and cope better with pressuring situations. Also, keep in mind to be open to new things when it comes to sex. Anything from sex toys to role-playing or costumes could help improve your sex life.
Another thing to focus on is foreplay. It helps for great sex and gives you the excitement that you need. Foreplay should be sensuality and affection and all these could lead to meaningful sex. Lastly, communicate and sync your sex drives and desires. Try to all stay connected when it comes to it and sex will be even more enjoyable.
How often should you have sex depends on each couple. There is no written rule about it. Every couple has their moment of intimacy as often as they feel comfortable with it. The average adult has sex once a week, according to therapists. Keep in mind that having sex more often doesn’t guarantee you will have a stronger and more stable relationship. You should focus on the experience and try to make it as pleasurable as possible. Your partner’s and your sexual satisfaction will improve if you focus on the quality of sex and not the quantity.